if kittens were tiny humans i'll have all of them with you
by CanadianMaple
Summary: Leo wants a child, but he guesses Taco, Sushi, and Lasagne would have to satisfy. It's probably a great thing Jason doesn't mind the kittens.


**Laughs because I wrote this at 3 AM, and I nearly forgot to publish this.**

 **Human AU btw.**

* * *

The rain was coming down harder now, pouring heavy buckets into the streets.

"Mm, Leo turn down the TV set, will you?" Jason called out from the bedroom.

Leo stuck his head out from the kitchen. "I'm not even in there. And you're closer."

Jason paused his typing, unplugging his laptop. "Actually you are. And I have this essay to write, you know that."

Leo sighed, setting down the lightbulb in his hand. He guessed fixing the lamp could wait. Leo bounced into the den, and turned down the volume to a low level of mute. "Is that better for you?" Leo shouted sarcastically.

"Perfect!" Jason yelled back.

Leo huffed as he crawled his way back to the abandoned lamp on the counter. All he needed to do was adjust a few screws, and replace the lightbulb. Easy, right?

Wrong.

His light bulb blew out, and he needed to buy another one.

"Hey Jay?" Leo called, standing in the one bedroom doorway.

Jason glanced up from his essay and raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

Leo shifted awkwardly, running his hand through his hair. "I need to run out. Need anything?"

The blond bit his lip, in thought. "Nah- wait, no actually can you pick up dinner? I'm not in the mood for cooking, or having a cup of cheap noodles."

"But the cup of noodles are great!" Leo protested. "I'm 100% sure they make people get six packs, and have a bunch of vitamins and stuff."

Jason snorted. "Six pack of what, fat rolls? Chinese food, please."

"Yeah, yeah like Chinese food is any healthier." Leo grumbled, slinking away. He threw on a jacket, and grabbed an umbrella, and his keys.

"Oh yeah, Leo? Did you leave yet?" Jason called out, last miute.

"No, why? You need anything?"

"No, just make sure you put on some pants before you leave." Jason's voice carried out throughout the apartment, and Leo glanced down. Great, now he needed to find some pants.

* * *

Five minutes later, Leo found himself on the bus with a pair of sweatpants, and waterlogged sneakers. His jacket didn't keep him very warm, but thankfully, it kept him dry.

"Lightbulbs? Lightbulbs. Lightbulbs? Lightbulbs." Leo muttered under his breath, as he scanned the aisles of his local hardware store.

The store he was in was small and comfortable. It had everything Leo had ever really needed at an affordable price. There were only a few staff, just a couple of high schoolers and undergraduates from the neighboring colleges. Leo used to work there himself, but then decided to spend all his time working at a more higher paid job to begin working off his school loans.

He knew the aisles by memory, and the employees by name. He quickly found the lightbulbs, and picked up an extra extension cord for himself. Jason didn't need to know what Leo blew his money on. What the blond didn't know won't kill him.

"Heavy rain, am I right?" Leo joked, and the employee at the register rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. The sooner it lets out, the better it'll be." Drew said, smacking her gum. The sound vibrated through the store.

"Aw, don't be that way sweet cakes. If it rains harder, I might just be stuck here with you." Leo winked, and Drew began ringing his items up quicker.

"Get lost dork." Drew tossed Leo his change, and waved him off with a perfectly french manicured hand.

"No matter how, I'll find my way back to you, hon." Leo called back, exiting the store and entering the rain.

"Man, it's really raining outside, right now." Leo commented to himself, as he watched the bus roll in front of him. Now he just needed to get off his stop, walk to the Chinese place, and then walk the extrablock home. Nothing too harmful.

By the time Leo managed to get to the Chinese food shop, it was pouring harder and harder.

"Tough rain, huh?" Frank said, as Leo walked inside.

Leo nodded, and closed his umbrella. "Uh huh. Jay is being _super_ lazy and is making me errand boy."

Frank smiled, and wiped his hands on his apron. "What can I get you?"

Leo shrugged, walking around mindlessly. "The usual I guess. You know what me and JJ like."

"Yeah. The American-Chinese food." Frank grumbled, already opening styrofoam containers.

Leo grinned."Of course! Hey, how's Hazel?"

Frank walked into the kitchen briefly, before coming out again. "Hazel? She's great and all, for someone being pregnant. Doctors say it's a boy." His eyes glittered with pride for his wife.

"Aw." Leo coo'd. "Imagine that, a little baby Frank. Maybe he won't be as clumsy as his Father."

Frank rolled his eyes. "You ruined it Valdez. You ruined the moment."

"I always do."

Frank closed one of the many containers. "So are you and Jason having any kids? How is he, by the way?"

Leo blinked, before giving Frank a look. "You know how babies work right? Jeez, are you _sure_ that your wife is pregnant with your child?"

"Yes, Leo, I know how babies work. But are you going to adopt or something? Maybe get a surrogate mother?"

Leo made a face at the thought. "Surrogate? Like as in his totally a lesbian sister, Thalia? Uh, no thanks because I don't want my junk getting cut off."

"It's called _feminist_ not _lesbian_. Jeez Leo. What about adopting?"

"I'm pretty sure feminazi's and liesbians are all the same. And I'm totally cool with adopting." Leo shrugged.

Frank tied off a bag, waiting for Leo to dig around for money. "It's _feminist_ and _lesbian_ not _feminazi_ and _liesbians_. You guys should adopt though. Wouldn't it be nice to have a kid?"

"You just want me to say yes, so you can feel great when you have a minature you walking around."

"Shut it Valdez, and take your change."

* * *

Three minutes later, Leo found himself walking home, thinking about what Frank said.

It was true, Leo _has_ thought of adopting, and brought it up with Jason plenty of times. Leo had seen all his friends grow up and have kids, so why couldn't he? It wasn't that Jason disapproved, the blond just happened to have a bunch of reason why not to.

" _We're in college, Leo. You and I are both trying to get a degree."_ was often the main reason. Which was a good enough reason as it was, but Leo thought they would be okay.

Money was never an issue. Even though they lived in one of the tiniest apartments, and both were on scholarship, they had their wonderful source of income. It was probably a great thing that Jason's daddy wanted to make up for the love he didn't give the child, and sent in money nearly every month. It didn't change how Jason felt about him, but that didn't stop the flow.

Leo would love to have a child, he really would. Jason suggested taking baby steps, starting off with a goldfish, maybe a few of them. Leo had wanted puppies, but Jason turned out to be allergic to them. So Leo introduced the idea of babysitting.

They had gotten pretty far on that idea, to be honest. The duo babysitted for their friends, Percy and Annabeth, all the time. Their child, a miniature female Percy, was a doll, while their other child, a baby who tended to cause things to spill, were perfect practices for Jason and Leo. Reyna, was also a fun person to babysit, as her little son was the perfect angel- until he wanted dessert. Regardless, Leo adored taking care of them, and constantly asked Jason for his own.

"Meow."

Leo looked down at his feet, to find a box.

"Did you just meow at me?" Leo nudged the box with his foot.

" _Meow_." The box made a noise, and Leo lifted open a flap.

"Aw! Who would leave such a thing out here in the rain?" Leo closed the flap and picked up the box.

He juggled with his bags and the box, making sure to have a firm grip on all objects. The doorman opened the door.

"Thank you Clovis." Leo said, maneuvering to press the _up_ button on the elevator.

Clovis yawned in response.

Inside the elevator, there was only a familiar couple inside.

"Leo?" Annabeth questioned, moving to the side so the male could get in.

"Yes? Can you hit 6- oh thanks- hello Annabeth, and Percy." Leo nodded in recognition as the elevator went up slowly.

"What's in the box?" Percy questioned, trying to peek inside.

"Uh, tools? Yeah, tools!" Leo announced, moving the box away from Percy's curious eyes.

"Uh huh." Annabeth said, narrowing her eyes. She probably already knew, nothing could be kept away from her.

"How's Annabelle, haven't seen her since a week ago." Leo commented, trying to avoid the subject of, _what's in the box_?. He knew talking about their children would set Percy off into his fatherly mode.

As expected, Percy puffed up with pride. "She's been amazing, really! She's a really great swimmer. And she's just so smart! In school, she was offered to skip a grade." Percy rambled, and Annabeth shook her head.

"She's okay, and so is Charles. He's actually managed to say his first word." Annabeth said, when a sour look came on to her face.

"Really?" Leo's interest grew, as he ignored the babbling that Percy was going on about. "What was it."

Annabeth glared at Percy, who managed to finish his monologue and laugh. "He said the word _crap_ one day, in the middle of watching TV."

Leo laughed. "That's great."

The elevator dinged open, and all the occupants spilled out. "Hey, Leo can you babysit for us on Friday? You'll need to stay overnight."

Leo nodded to Annabeth. "Sure, why not. Just keep the fridge stocked, and the pizza money ready, and I'll be there."

Percy grinned, putting an arm around Annabeth. "Great. Be here by six."

Leo turned back to making his way to his door. He struggled to insert his keys in the slot, but he managed, pushing the door wide open.

"Honey, I'm home!" Leo called out, dropping the keys in the bowl near the door. All the lights were off, except from the glow coming from the television set in the den.

"Great, I'm hungry." Jason said, glancing up in Leo's direction.

Leo dropped the bags of food and lightbulbs down before entering the den with the box. He flicked on the light, and Jason looked at him questioningly.

"Jeez Leo, I said Chinese Food, not bring Chinatown over here. Stop going overboard with food, you might get fat." Jason joked, standing up to take the box from Leo.

"I'm not fat." Leo pouted, snatching the box back, to put it on the floor.

"No, you're not." Jason kissed the top of Leo's forehead, and went to grab the bags of food. He returned half a minute later, with takeout boxes and a fork.

"Cause, I know you can't use chopsticks." He had said, handing Leo the fork.

Leo stuck out his tongue, and pointed to the box.

"Jason. I _know_ what you said about have kids but-"

Jason dropped his chopsticks. "There's a _kid_ in there?" He yelped, opening the box, ignoring Leo's protests.

" _Wait!_ "

"Meow."

Jason stared at Leo, folding his arms. "Explain why there are 3 cats in here."

Leo rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "There was a box of kittens outside, and it was _raining, Jason-_ "

"So you took them?" Jason asked, lifting one of the furballs up. It purred lightly as Jason scratched it's neck. The other two crawled out the box, surrounding Jason.

"Well duh. Not going to leave a box of abandoned kittens in the rain, bro."

Jason looked up from the feline in his arms. "We can't keep them. What if someone owns them?"

"No way, someone owns them. They would have tags, won't they? Come on, Jase, _please_?" Leo pleaded, sitting on his knees next to Jason.

"I don't know Leo…"

Leo searched his mind for something to convince the blond with. "I'll pay for everything, I promise! Food, bed, toys, you got it."

"Whenever you say you're going to pay for something, it suddenly becomes a joint effort." Jason rolled his eyes. "And you'll just forget about them in a week, until they smell and die."

"This is different! Nemo was an experiment."

"Nemo was your pet goldfish, that you left to die." Jason shot back.

Leo pouted, and folded his arms. "Fine. I guess it's true, you don't love me."

Jason scratched another cat, earning a purr. "If you say so."

"So, I'll just run away, and never come back. Is that what you want, huh? Me to never come back?"

Jason shrugged. "If that's your path of life then I'm not stopping you."

Leo sighed. "You're a dick, you know that."

"But I'm your dick."

" _Unfortunately._ "

Jason glanced down at the purring kittens surrounding him. He hesitated, as he watched Leo open a takeout box. " _Maybe_ we can take care of them for a few days."

Leo light up. "Really?!"

"But only until we find their owner, if they even have one-" Jason was cut off by Leo surging forward, kissing him.

"Thankyouthankyou _thankyou_!" Leo beamed, lifting up one of the kittens.

Jason just smiled.

* * *

A few hours later, Leo was caught in a predicament.

"What are you naming them?" Jason repeated his question.

Leo looked at the three kittens, curled up at the edge of the bed. "'M not sure."

"What? Well, come up with names, we can't just keep calling them ' _them_ '." Jason said, taking off his glasses.

"Okay, okay." Leo huffed. "I got it."

"What?"

Leo pointed them out one by one. "Taco, Burrito, and Enchilada."

Jason snorted. "No way. Imagine if they were children. 'Oh hey guys, my name's Burrito and I like your shirt.'"

Leo threw his hands in the air. "Well if you're so smart, why don't you name them."

"I don't mind Taco, to be honest." Jason confessed. "How about Sushi, since we're sticking with food?"

"Whatever. Then we have to name the last one _chicken_."

"Leo, no." Jason stated, sliding into bed.

Leo followed in after him. "Why not? It's better than naming it something like _lasagne_."

Jason shrugged. "I like lasagne. Let's name it Lasagne."

"Great, so we have the mexican Taco, the japanese Sushi, and the italian Lasagne. Classy." Leo rolled his eyes, and turned off the bedside lamp.

* * *

"Hey, you still awake Leo?" Jason said softly, in the middle of the night.

"'Mmm?" Leo yawned, half-awake, half not.

"Why'd you want the kittens?" The rain outside was still going on, but played a more softer thumping.

"I wanna get some- mmm _sleeep_ \- tiny humans." Leo mumbled into Jason's chest.

"Babies?"

"Mhm."

"Oh." Jason was silent, as he looked down at the messy hair on his chest.

Jason spoke again. "I wouldn't mind adopting a few. I'm okay with that."

"Go to sleep." Leo poked Jason's belly button, and Jason laughed.

"Whatever. Night, Leo."

"Shuddup."

* * *

 **Oh man, there was a prompt:** " **it's raining really badly and there was a box of abandoned kittens please can we keep them all i'll pay for everything."**

 **I swear, I'm going to update RitF sooner or later, it's just that my laptop screen shattered [haha i need to disown my brother ._.], and the document got deleted. So yeah, I have to literally reread it, to catch up.**

 **I dunno what's up with me and my ValGrace stories. I have a lot of ideas for some reason. *I actually know what my next biggest project after RitF is over. Naturally, it's ValGrace...***


End file.
